F.E.A.R.

False evidence appearing real (F.E.A.R.). This is the thing that holds us back and keeps us from achieving our goals. It can be paralyzing, creating physical and psychological symptoms. When we are faced with danger, our bodies create physical symptoms such as rapid heart rate, an increase in blood pressure, sweating, shakiness, or perhaps an upset stomach. Are we truly in danger though? Believe it or not, we can create physical symptoms and emotions merely by our thoughts. That's how powerful our mind is! Our perception of fear is rooted in irrational thoughts about a situation. I often call these thoughts our "stinky thinking". We want to create change, but we find ourselves feeling threatened and/or anxious about something that has no real threat. We entertain cognitive distortions, such as catastrophizing (expecting the worst outcome) or overgeneralizing (drawing broad conclusions from a single event). These distortions can amplify feelings of fear and anxiety, making situations seem more daunting than they really are. Understanding the F.E.A.R. can help us discover the root cause and dismantle any false narratives, allowing us to have a more balanced perspective on perceived threats.

What is something you have been wanting to accomplish? You may find yourself wanting to feel more confident in social situations. Maybe you just want to put yourself out into the dating world again. Or perhaps you want to take the next step in your career goals. You have great ideas, but something is keeping you from acting. So, what is getting in the way of your goals?

The first thing to analyze is fact versus fiction. Try writing down the specific thoughts that are contributing to your fear. Then ask yourself if these thoughts are based on facts or just assumptions. Look for evidence that contradicts your fears and try reframing it. For example, if your belief is "I will fail", consider turning that around with "I have an opportunity for personal growth and can learn from any mistakes made along the way." Most of the time our thoughts create a much more dramatic outcome than the reality. It is up to us to challenge those thoughts and lean into the F.E.A.R. holding us back. When we write these negative cognitions down, it allows us to create more clarity and see how irrational they are. Take it a step further and document any past experiences where your fears did not materialize. This can help you to reinforce the idea that fear is often based on false evidence.

I encourage you to practice self-compassion when trying to create any kind of change. Afterall, you are human right? None of us are perfect, and we should not expect ourselves to be when trying something different. Change is uncomfortable. Our brain is a muscle and wants to take the easy route. We have to work out our brain just like our body, in order to see change. Acknowledge your fears without judgment and recognize that it's normal to have those fears. Overcoming them is a process and should be done in a space of kindness and compassion to ourselves. By actively challenging irrational beliefs and leaning into our fears, we can reduce the power we give them. This journey is personal, and it may take some time, so patience will come in handy. The end goal is to not let F.E.A.R. control you. Recognize it, challenge it, and lean in with courage and ambition. And don't forget to celebrate your progress! In time, you will begin to find empowerment through those changes you work to create. If you find yourself stuck, consider collaborating with a therapist that can provide tailored strategies to address your fears. You deserve to experience your full potential.